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But in Stalingrad, no

... Pose the problem of the existence of God at Stalingrad, it means denying it. I must tell you, dear father, and I doubly regret. You've brought up, because I missed my mother and I have always put God before their eyes and soul.
And doubly I regret my words, for they shall be my last, and I can never name a more capable of deleting them and atone.
You are a shepherd of souls, father, and the last letter tells only the truth, or what one believes to be true. I searched for God in every ditch, every house destroyed in every corner, in every one of my dormitory when I was in the trenches, and in the sky. God has not shown, when my heart was crying out to him. The houses were destroyed, the comrades were so heroic and so cowardly as me, on earth there are hungry and murder and bombs falling from the sky and fire. Only God was not there. No, father, there is no God, I write again, and I know it's a terrible thing for me and irreparable. And if there must be a God, it is only with you, in the books of psalms and prayers in the pious words of priests and pastors in the church bells and the scent of incense. But in Stalingrad, no.

Last Letters from Stalingrad

Ostriches, 18 - Einaudi